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Senior Living
Plan Ahead
“No one wants to think about a time when they
might need long-term care. So planning ahead for this possibility
often gets put off. Most people first learn about long-term care
when they or a loved one need care. Then their options are often
limited by lack of information, the immediate need for services,
and insufficient resources to pay for preferred services. Planning
ahead allows you to have more control over your future.”
— The U.S Department of Health and Human Services: www.longtermcare.gov
"Whether you plan a formal
meeting with an agenda or informally gather for a discussion, when
the family is together make it a point to start the long term care
planning process. There is a lot to learn and many decisions to
make concerning finances, health issues, and legal work. It may
take research and a lot of time to put a plan together, but if everyone
is involved it will work, and be worth it."
— National Care Planning Council: www.longtermcarelink.net
Family Reunion: A Good Time for Family Planning
Summertime brings a lot of family time. With family
reunions, picnics, weddings and other events, long distant family
members travel to gather together. It is also the perfect time to
do some planning for the future. With parents aging and their health
and lifestyles changing, children need to discuss some change
s and
decisions that will be needed in the near future. Parents should
take the time to tell their children where important documents are
kept and what their wishes are in the event of needing health care
directives or experiencing long term care needs.
For those children who live away, the change they see in their parent's
health and mental capacity may be alarming -- whereas siblings that
have daily contact are working with these issues constantly. Here
is the chance to compare notes and work together as a complete family
in the long term care planning process.
For you parents who are well and active, this is a good time to
hold a family meeting and share with your children your plan for
long term care. Tell them where financial and legal documents are
located. Review health care directives, living wills and long term
care alternatives.
Experience has shown that even families that are close can quickly
grow angry, jealous and hostile towards each other when an aging
parent begins to need long term care. If a sibling moves into the
parent's home, others can easily be suspicious of ulterior motives
and fear losing their inheritance. On the other hand, the child
providing the elder care becomes bitter and feels there is no support
or help from siblings. Pre-need meetings for the purpose of making
a plan, before eldercare becomes imminent, avoids these types of
conflicts.
In its book, “The
4 Steps of Long Term Care Planning,” the National Care
Planning Council provides guidelines and checklists for family planning
meetings. Here's an excerpt from the book:
“The first step to holding
a meeting, and perhaps the most difficult one, is to get all
interested persons together in one place at one time. If it's
a family gathering, perhaps a birthday, an anniversary or another
special event could be used as a way to get all to meet. Or
maybe even a special dinner might be an incentive.
The person conducting the meeting can be a parent or one person
of a couple who are doing their planning, years before the need
for care arises. A meeting on behalf of someone already receiving
care or needing care in the immediate future could be conducted
by that person or by a member of the family, by an adviser or
a friend.
The agenda could be formal or informal. If you want a formal
agenda, we suggest using our care planning checklist as the
agenda. Copies of the care plan should be prepared prior to
the meeting and presented to those attending. Discussion is
encouraged and we recommend that the person in charge not dictate
but encourage input from everyone.
After a thorough discussion of the issues and the presentation
of the solutions to the problems that will be encountered, there
should be a consensus of all attending to support the plan.
If the plan needs to be altered to meet everyone's expectations
then by all means do so if that can be done. But it is not always
possible to please everyone so there must sometimes be compromise.
The end of the meeting should consist of asking everyone present
to make his or her commitment to support the plan.
GET IT IN WRITING! All good intentions seem to be forgotten
with time. It may be years after this meeting before the long
term care plan begins. If there are vocal commitments to help
with transportation to doctors, give respite to the caregiver
or other commitments, write them down on the care agreement.
You can even have each person put a signature to his or her
commitment if you think that is important.” |
Note:
All researchers are encouraged to do their
own due diligence. The information on this web site is given with
the best of intention. However, families should do their own interviewing,
touring and decision making.
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